another way of thanks

Embracing a newness of what thanksgiving can bring when 1100 miles away from the customary. The ‘turkey and dressing’ can mean the same thing across the nation and can be made ready and presented in so many different ways. Everywhere I turn is a reason for thanks. These thanks exceed family and outreach for the sense of connection/belonging. Reach forth hands and hearts with shared bonding and blessings. We show our thankfulness in how we give and build within our community.This gesture is a creative fulfillment on a new form of expression and experience of thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

‘honoring the process’

“…set sail in faith God is for you and not against you, and honor the process he puts in your life…” –Amie Dockery

Some people know me for talking a lot about the process of things. I think I talked about it often, because I often had to work diligently to obtain things. We all had experiences that required us to persevere, or had to partake in some kind of process, and for some, that’s easier than others. How do we get from A to Z? There is a time allotted to bake a cake in the oven, and a baby needs time to develop in their mother’s womb prior to delivery. A good friend of mine even talked about the dash between our birth and death date, and how it has to be filled, and full. There are so many things that can happen in the middle, (i.e. oppositions, hardships, successes, opportunities, milestones, failures, etc….). If we’re not focused, not aligned with purpose, not connected to G, don’t have our priorities straight, and don’t know where we’re headed or where we want to be, then we’ll find ourselves sidetracked, lost, frequently discouraged or worn out.

I reflect on my journey and what it has taken for me to get to where I am right now, (and I’m still a work-in-progress….). I look at the different successes, opportunities, tests (that I passed and failed), my response and reaction to conflicts and oppositions, and my attitude. There has been both good and learning times, and I’m humbled and grateful for the grace of God, especially when different times I didn’t (and still at times want to resist and not) ‘honor the process‘He’s given. If we remember that G has a plan, keep our eyes on Him/the prize, continue to move towards the direction of destiny, use those oppositions/fears to propel us towards where we know we’re supposed to be, if our attitudes and love pedometer is on positive, than we’re really showing what we believe about all things are working together, because they are really already worked out….

 

working out my faith

Here I am at the gym, and I can honestly say I’ve been consistent. Every time I get ready to work out, I have only one goal, to finish. At different times and moments there’s a press to see myself through the end, maybe, because I’m tired or just feel I can’t go any further. I often work out in a random setting, where the resistance fluctuates from high to not so high, and doesn’t let up until get closer to the finish line. Still have to keep going to make it there. The resistance is like the level of discouragement weighing in on our faith- which makes more intense and harder to move effectively and faster.

My only prayer for myself has been for God to not let my faith fail me. I realize He’s been answering my prayers through the different forms and levels of encouragement and by the many ways He has blessed and provided for me. Our faith is what we hope for and trust in even with no tangibility. We may or may not have endured; we may have exhausted our “works” (to accompany our faith)-doing what we could possibly do in the direction where I faith lies. What we’re hoping for is at the finish line. Our resistance may be either low or may have no effects on us (meaning we’re more encouraged), or we may just have a period assigned to rest for a moment.  We still have to keep moving until what we believe is manifested and/or we make it to the end (when God says/shows us, “the wait is over”)…

 

bridging the lonely gaps

We are on our own journey, alone, but not lonely. Let’s take initiative to live beyond what tries to consume us. They say that lonely people build walls, and not bridges. We can be outside of our familiar walls, and we steadily have to decide to build, (even though not easy).  If we haven’t build or crossed this bridge before how do we know how to trust or where to start? Our openness doesn’t determine the necessary time it will still take to build bridges of connections; even when it seems that no one wants to cross over. Have to be consistent no matter what, even at the kind of hand we’ll take. Have to build using our resources and with kindness, sense, and love. We have to build with compassion, pardon, and openness. We have to definitely build without any defenses. How others will initially measure this bridge and the actual approach of building is (until decided to invest the time) out of our control. We may have to re-examine the foundation, if we take too personal. The ones we are to interchangeably cross over with will be the right ones, purposeful and divine ones, and not perfect.  They may sharpen us, and may be the ones that in our own measurements we wouldn’t have chosen. We weren’t meant to be in island fenced in comfort with our own loneliness, we were meant to build to reach out. Both sides of being the ones who build and the ones who crosses over take time and rapport. Patience is a necessary tool. Our bridges won’t be perfect; yet, will be right for the ones who are meant to walk along with us, to cross over. The loneliness may be present when we are by ourselves or even in the midst of company. To fill the biggest gap, we have to even build a bridge to connect with our Creator.  No matter what, we can always consult our divine architect, the master of being creative and sensible who will give us the best blueprint in how to make it work best and in a way that will give Him a good name. We just have to make our minds up to take initiative to win along this journey, and just keep building.

 

one year later… November 2

Today marks a year since I started this blog and my grandma: Gladys Burkhalter Roberts passed away. My first post was about her and for my first year “anniversary” I want to acknowledge her today…

How time flies and I can’t believe that it’s been a year, and so much has happened in that time. I dealt with the initial loss of my grandma and the reality that I don’t have any more living grandparents. I started to hear more about how much I resemble her, now that she’s gone. I feel like even at the home-going celebration merely one facet of her was covered and it’s an important testament (how much she was God-fearing); and, there’s so much I’m still either learning about her or at least now I would see in a new light…

Last year this time, I was shy of a couple of months into a new school year at my job. I had made a decision not to date and to work on myself, (definitely a time of introspection, and me re-evaluating how I wanted to go about things). Now I’m still getting acclimated with moving to a new state, I’m able to smile and give thanks to God for some accomplishments and goals I met. I’m also learning from my mistakes, things I could have done differently. Looking ahead and considering my future goals… As you will soon see, I’m publicizing my blog. :).   I’m happy to expand my writings and communication through this blog and bringing some light and somehow connect better with my reader/audience in another way.

As I imagine if I was able to have a conversation with my grandma and visit with her and think what she might say. She would always recall a scripture. The one she most frequently uses, I try to consider and hope you’ll find some significance in Psalms 23, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…” RIP Grandma.

To my readers/followers:

Thank you for being a part of this journey through this blog. One year, 52 posts and counting…great things to come!

 

humbled

I heard a saying, ‘everything goes in Texas.’ I found it to be true with the amount of diversity (at least where I’m around) I witness. My hair is styled in a peculiar way with four small braids on one side of my head and the rest of my hair is pinned up or curled. Today my hair wasn’t quite pinned up the way I normally have it (in a neater way). I had to run to the store and I think the cashier was confused, because she asked me if I was taking my hair down or braiding it up. I found myself explaining what I was doing with my hair. If our hair needs an explanation then we may not be doing it like we think we are, that’s humility for you :). I remember being told as a child by one of my aunts that there is always going to be someone who is smarter, better looking, more gifted, etc….and so what?

Doesn’t matter our credentials or all the good deeds we do; we’re not always going to win. We will find ourselves in vulnerable positions, and we will make mistakes sometimes, because we’re still learning and human. We will need to be pardoned and we will always have a place where improvement is merited. We may not always have the right measurement with ourselves about where we are and what we are ready for. Humility reckons and gives honor where it’s due. There’s a certain kind of confidence required to be humbled, and to realize that it’s just not about our individual selves. When we recognize God’s grace on everything then we can’t help, but to be humble and stay true.

 

 

another moment with change #just human

I had just got back to my place after dropping my family off at the airport (on their way back to Minnesota). My family had stayed with me while they visited, helped me get more situated and take care of some other things. I was exhausted driving back to the apartment. Once I step in to my place though, I went straight into cleaning mode, (putting things away, preparing to do laundry deflating air mattresses, etc…). Immediately after deflating the air mattress and as I headed to the laundry room, reality hit me how much I missed my ma, and the rest of my family. I couldn’t collect myself for a little while, (and even still next day I had a couple of moments)…

I have now been in Texas for two months officially. I feel I’ve adapted well overall to the big change, and getting acclimated, (even as I wait for some other things to land in place). My rushing for things to be what they were before; faster than my heart could handle of realizing what changed from what was to what is now. My heart just wasn’t ready to accept the fact how times comes and goes and my family’s visit wasn’t no different. My heart is still adjusting to my family visiting, longer driving/flying distances and less face to face accessibility. Technology keeps us connected and our hearts fonder. Technology also helps us to not see as much the distance.

Reality is sinking in of the impact of change. My heart is as alive as I’m human. My spirit is alive and guides me as I keep moving forward. Every time my family leaves tangible and intangible imprints. I stepped out of a comfort zone, and how much more will I have gained. Different things have happened and the thus far the overall has been a beautiful thing.

 

 

when it rains…it pours

Drip…drop… whoosh! Often when we think about rain, there may be some negative connotations associated. Looking from the inside out the window or through the windshield, the perspective can be very gloomy or solemn. We may feel out of control, the need to slow down, and not be motivated to do anything. Even though we know the sun will shine again. Sometimes as much as we can see through the rain in the window is beyond what we imagine what we can handle. We may believe that grace will see us through this pouring; yet, in the meantime that rain just keeps coming down…who knows what the rain might be protecting us from. We can be thankful for our umbrellas to shield us and just learn to embrace those moments. Singing in the rain…

Drip… drop…whoosh! There is another rain drop slant. The rain may be as a shower to replenish, to clean, and to bestow blessings.  This rain may come at different seasons and events of our lives- sometimes unexpected, and other times anticipated. Being at the receiving end of being “rained” upon can be humbling especially when there is an overflow of showers that fulfills needs and exceeds the expectations a position to want for nothing. And especially when we don’t know where it’s coming from…Our umbrellas has to be down so we can be ready for what is coming with faith and hopes of underlining love and joy with the different sprinkles of giving. We have to embrace and not take for granted these showers. Showers of love…

When it rains…it pours and in those moments and seasons we just have to do what we need to equip ourselves. Drip… drop… whoosh… is all a part of life. Can we see the rainbow?

 

vision board # live love believe

I am in the process of re-doing my vision board. A vision board (at least the ones I’ve seen), are usually poster board size. On a blank board I cut out different words or images or would draw out what reflects, a dream, aspiration, goal or prophesy (or something of that sort) that I want and believe will come to fruition. I heard about the significance of doing one, and saw somebody else maybe three or four years ago. I wasn’t motivated to do one of my own until I visited Texas for the first time a couple of years ago. As soon as I got back to Minnesota (from visiting Texas), I went straight to Walmart to grab a poster board so I could do my own. I don’t remember it taking long for me to do my vision board. I eventually did another board with just words. I started working on another vision board prior to moving to Texas. Now I just got through taking a part of my first one I did so I could re-create. I remember looking at it before I took all the way a part and seeing how many things I had accomplish or had plans of action in place to make happen. Then I saw things on there that didn’t even matter to me anymore and I even considered irrelevant, (just after a couple of years). My board is set up more like a colleague; things on there are random and not visually prioritized in certain order. In my heart there are some things on my board that I would like to happen sooner, short-term. There are also some things that are definitely longer-terms. Some things on there I know I’d be okay if didn’t happen. Whereas some of the things on there I have a strong desire. Looking at my vision board makes me think about: How do I want to live? What am I believing and working towards? Where is my foundation and motivation? My board is definitely a reference to reflect on. I highly recommend anyone to do a vision board.  I think having an open mind as a great approach to making one, because change is inevitable. A vision board is a visual expression of: a way to live, believe and (hopefully) love through it all.

 

Live Love Believe

I sit outside by the tree near the pool and spa. I listen to the waterfalls. I marvel at the way the sun cascades on the landscaping and I’m attentive to all the outdoor stimuli. As I try to make this pen dance with the paper like Argentine Tango, we can only flow with the leading of the heart. I glance at my pen, and it tells me “Live Love Believe.” So that is what we write about….

Live– Our being alive goes beyond not being dead, a survivor, or our natural shallow breaths. Our truly living is not fully consumed with just making a living, people pleasing, and created environments of things we’ve been just tolerating. The way we genuinely live will reflect on how we seize (divine) moments, and our determinant of what really matters when nothing is in place and everything is in place. Timing is factored without being a hindrance. When we live for a bigger dream, purpose- God’s glory manifested when we live via love.

Love– We love in a position that unknowingly extends us and that holistically complements and contributes. Not with just the emotional, unimaginable/unexplainable heart’s pitter patter or stomach consumed with flutter by; also with intentional decision, built in forgiveness/compassion, and sincere touches. A love with insight and that has G as a guide- a motivating force. A love that outreaches and this happens when one believes.

Believe– What we believe is our tree’s roots and our walking motivation. What we believe goes beyond what we say, because of how much is reflected on our answers and behaviors of what we face. Believing is positively our faith, something that doesn’t exist or hasn’t happed that we put substance or life to (with high hopes to be manifested). We give power/exert a lot of energy to what we believe.

How do we live a life without living, loving, and believing? What I think, sometimes this comes down to a decision or decisions or a change of attitude(s) of what’s not necessary…